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More than a number

For years I was obsessed with weighing myself, and became completely consumed by the number on the scale.

Yes, I was in deep into my eating disorder, so that was a major factor, BUT... I know so many people, women especially, who are obsessed with the scale!

I gave way too much power to a number, and let it completely rule my mind and my days...

If the number was higher than what I wanted to see, my thoughts were flooded with negativity, my emotions went haywire (sad, insecure, anxious, defeated, angry, hopeless, ugly, inadequate, I could go on and on...), my mood shifted, and any ounce of positivity, joy or contentment was diminished.

You wanna know the sad(der) part?... Looking back, I never experienced the opposite effect... I might have experienced a moment of relief when the scale didn't increase, and/or revealed a number that was a little lower than the time before, but I don't remember feeling overjoyed or fulfilled! If anything, I enjoyed that (at most) minute, and then it was, "ok, next time has to be lower." It didn't matter what the scale showed... I was never truly content!

Now, I actually don't even have a scale in my house! It took some time, but once I got rid of the scale in my house, I actually stopped weighing-in at the gym too! At first it made me anxious, not knowing my weight, (for years I had put so much emphasis on my weight, and using the scale was a key part of my routine) but now, I'm totally ok with it! I am able to live more freely, and use the way I genuinely feel to gauge my progress & well-being, rather than letting a number on the scale dictate things for me! It's such a freeing and more enjoyable place to be! Life is about so much more than what we see on the scale... WE are so much MORE! So don't you forget it!

Happy Tuesday!

Take care :)

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